Went out earlier because it's my Dad's birthday (Happy Birthday Dad :D) so we went for a meal. I dressed up nicely and everything but I just didn't feel like it :( I feel bad for him though cos I should be acting really happy and all. But all I want to do is fall asleep on the sofa whilst watching a film. Bad times. I'm dosed up on extra strength cold and flu tablets though so hopefully that'll kick in soon.
Watched the first episode of 'Dirty Sexy Things' earlier on 4od. It's about a photographer called Perou (so it's good from my photography point of view), who puts together a group of 8 models for some edgy and "off the wall" type shoots. This week they had to do underwear modelling. But in the middle of central London in streets full of people. It kinda interesting because I don't know much about modelling and fashion photography. It was also very eye opening into the world of models and what they have to go through...
The cameras followed them to London Fashion Week as well. It was crazy seeing how picky the scouts were and how the thousands of models had to have the perfect walks, perfect figures, perfect heights... And they needed all that just to even be considered for call backs for the shows and catwalks!! All these people were beautiful of course. It was mad seeing how some of them were turned down just because they weren't tall enough or their walk wasn't good enough. Out of the 8 models, I think it was two that got jobs out of the week. It's on again tomorrow night and I can't wait :P It's such a good programme, you should totally check it out: http://www.e4.com/dirtysexythings/
I've just been looking at Perou's website as well. The photos on there are amazing!! You should look at those as well :) http://www.perou.co.uk/
On the subject of photography, my next big project is 'Society and Culture'. If anyone has any ideas as to what I might photograph in those areas, suggestions would be greatly appreciated :P I'm thinking documentary style and I kind of want to say something about the world we live in through my photos if you get what I mean? Here's some of the photos I've done looking at stereotyping and girl gangs:
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| Model = My sister :) |
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| This one is definitely my favourite :) |
Another thing that show made me think about was my figure again. I wish I was the right type of person to model. I know it'd never happen and I wouldn't particularly want to because you have to put up with so much shit :L But even if I lost weight I couldn't because I'm not tall enough or pretty enough and there's not much I can do about those. But I can do something about my weight. It's kind of made me more determined to get fit and shed some pounds. So my plan of action is to...
- Cut lunch out completely
- Cut snacks
- More exercise
- And generally cut out any unnecessary unhealthy foods
I already eat an apple and have a glass of water for breakfast everyday and don't eat lunch most days but I need to be more strict with myself and not give in when I'm hungry. Hopefully, this will make me feel a bit better about myself. Like more confident and I would like what I see in the mirror more :)
Anyway, early start tomorrow :( But hey, four more days and then 7 weeks off :) I can't wait. Although at the moment the only thing I'm doing all holiday is the residential course for the choir and that's in the second week. I've also been told by my boyfriend that I won't be able to see him over the holidays because he's so busy... Which hurt a lot I have to admit. (I'm now getting into something I wasn't going to blog about but maybe it'll make me feel a little bit better and help me get my head round it. I've also just read a friend's blog who was incredibly honest with his feelings so I'm inspired by him)
It's not like I mind that he's busy and I know it's going to totally sound like I do! But all I'm asking is that I see him maybe once a week? Not even that :L Just be able to talk to him properly every once in a while. I hate how possessive I sound :'( I actually hate myself for feeling like this!! But lately, it just feels like he'd put EVERYTHING before me... I seriously do not mind being put last but just once in a while I'd love to be his first priority. Just once in a while so I know he still cares. The argument I blogged about last time, well, that was with him :/ It was the first huge one. And I hated it. It was horrible.
I don't want to tell him how I feel and because what if he just thinks what's the point!? And I do not want that. I like him waaaay more than anyone before and it's the first time I haven't got bored in a relationship after 2 months lol. So that must mean something!
But it must have been nearly 2 weeks since I spent time with him properly, just me and him. I do not mind hanging round with his friends because they're all really nice people :) But sometimes I'd like to just spend some time with him. Also, he refuses to get to know my friends. I've two close friends ask me this week is it really worth the effort and tears? And it is. I know it is. But they're fed up of seeing me down about it. I feel bad about complaining. I mean why am I even complaining?! He probably doesn't even realise he's doing it :L Which wouldn't surprise me in the slightest to be honest! I sound like such a horrible girlfriend. I'm not really. I let him get on with it and try not to complain to him. I learnt that lesson the hard way as last time it sparked the argument in the middle of college. But if I don't ask to meet up then we'd NEVER see each other because I doubt he'd ask :L Are all boys like this? Dannii say's not seeing as her boyfriend, Jack, is not like this. But maybe she just got lucky. No one is perfect. But I'd be interested to hear any advice and opinions as to what I should do or even if you feel the same...? So feel free to comment :)
Dah, I'm a bad person. So I'll shut up now seeing as I said I'd leave you all in peace about an hour ago :L In my defence, the cold and flu things kicked in so I'm awake :L Sorry for the ramble, it wasn't even about anything interesting tonight :/ Night guys :) And here's today's photo ... Though I don't yet agree with the A+ bit... I moan too much and the content isn't that great :L Xo
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