Filled With So Much Hatred, Such A Tired Game...

I've decided to post this photo today because I can totally relate to it even if it is a depressing subject. I don't like what I see in the mirror everyday and sometimes I actually feel disgusted with myself. I don't want to be perfect... Because what's perfect? I just want to be vaguely happy with what I see in the mirror.

So I've decided that these are the things that need to change:

• Lose weight. Because I swear I've put some on :'( I hate how fat I look in the mirror! So lots of exercise is on the agenda for the summer. I've also tried to cut back on what I'm eating. Today I had an apple for breakfast and water then managed not to eat anything until tea (which is compulsory in my house, much to my disgust). I've found that it's easy to forget your hungry and work through it if you keep yourself distracted. Like today at lunch, I had band practise which completely put my mind off it :) When I eat crap, I literally feel disgusted with myself and regret it later so to make up for it, the day after, I don't eat anything. I know this isn't good which is why I need to start eating less in general. This is the one big thing I would like to change. If none of the others work (apart from motivation) I'd be happy with just this one.

• Stop being so argumentative. I need to just shut up and get on with it, which is probably what I should do with this whole post :L But what I mean is, don't argue with people and just keep quiet. It's so much easier just to back down and let other people get their own way rather than fight my own corner. It probably sounds laziness but I just want everyone else to be happy :)

• Motivation. I need to get my ass in gear and get my life sorted. I can't carry on in this little bubble of hoping things will just go away if I ignore them. I need to start looking at what I'm going to do after college, get myself a job and get on with driving so I can pass. I've made a start towards this one as I'm going to Aston University tomorrow to a Higher Education Fair and I also booked a careers appointment today :) So hopefully that will really help.

• Sleep more. I'm fed up of having bags under my eyes and generally looking butt-ugly -_- lol. I wish I looked vaguely pretty. Instead of having a big nose, a gap between my front teeth, spots, oily skin, round face, chubby cheeks and a scar on my left eyebrow. But there's not really anything I can do about these ones, much to my annoyance. As much as I hate to admit it, I do get a little jealous of pretty girls and wonder why I can't be more like them? Stupid I know :P But hey, I can't help it :P

So here's the big question... Why can't I be you instead? Any suggestions on how to do the things listed above would greatly be appreciated, thanks :) Xo