We're All Lying To The Mirror...

So I've had a pretty eventful day. I took my own advice and got out the house. After yesterday's meltdown (sorry again for the post), I really needed to. Decided to go shopping under a "i-need-clothes-to-go-back-to-college" pretence. It also made me feel a bit better in a shallow kind of way. But whatever, it worked which is the main thing. The only downside to this was the fam came too and made a day of it. It wasn't so bad though I guess. Me and my sister went off on our own for a bit and I blew any money I made last month. Oops. Plus I still owe my Dad thirty quid for my phone bill :/ But hey! The shops were mega busy because it's bank holiday weekend but it took my mind off everything for a couple of hours and I even had fun with my sister :) Normally I hate shopping and get bored but it's fun with her and I went with an objective. I came away with a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, a blouse, a new college bag, two bra's and a new wallet because mine was falling to pieces. Lush :) I'm looking forward to trying it all on again tomorrow.

Speaking of trying things on.... I couldn't decide what to put on this morning. It was one of those moments where your whole wardrobe ends up dumped on the floor in front of the mirror. One of the last things I pulled out were a pair of beige chinos I hadn't worn for months because they were high waisted (ew) and were ultra tight on the leg. But I thought what the hell, may as well try them. I was pretty shocked when they slipped on fairly easily and were massive round the waist. Then my Mom came in to borrow my hair spray and was all like "Oh they look nice!!" so I stupidly started complaining that they were too big. To which she said "I thought you'd lost weight" Yes. She thinks I've visibly lost weight!! Also, at results day last week, my friend who I hadn't seen since we finished college for the summer, hugged me and was like "Liv, you've lost weight!". Both times this made me feel a bit better about myself and that I may actually be getting somewhere. Finally. 

The only downside to this is the 'rents are getting suspicious. Last night I got in from work and honestly wasn't hungry, But I went through the motions of going to the fridge to "see if there was anything I fancied". Which there wasn't. Surprise surprise. But my Dad came back into the kitchen and was all like "Come on Olivia, you've hardly eaten anything today". Which was true but I'd got up late and I wasn't in any mood to eat. But it wound me up. So I grabbed a pack of Jaffa Cakes to shut him up :'( I managed three. My brother also ate some so it looked like I'd had a few more. Hopefully things like that will take me off the radar until I get back to college where it'll be easy to get away with not eating. I can grab an apple before I leave the house under the pretence of always being late and being able to get something in a free or break. I can also make a sandwich in the morning then throw it away when I get there. Done. Today was pretty bad. Had a Starbucks caramel latte & fruit scone, a small diet coke from McDonalds then chips from a chip shop on the way home :( All of which is crap. Though most of it came back up because I got sick in the car on the way back.

Another downside is that two pairs of chinos and a pair of shorts are now too big for me. I wore my two month old, size 10 navy chinos to town the other day but as much as I love them, they did my absolute head in! They kept sliding down below my hips and showing my knickers off to the world (thank god they were black!). I kept having to pull them up, even though they wouldn't stay there. It's the same with my denim, knee length shorts which I also love to pieces! A complete pain in the ass. But it'll be worth it in the end I guess!

So tomorrow, I have to work the 1:00 - 5:00 pm shift because it's bank holiday Monday Which equals busy busy busy! But on the plus side I have the evening which I don't normally have :) The boyfriend is also back from Folk Fest tomorrow which is good from my point of view because I've missed him a fair amount. And I really really need a hug! I also want to do a quick weigh-in to see what's going on. But for now, I'm going to bed :) Night and thank your for your comments! They make me feel less alone in this... Xo Oh, and this morning, I ended up going out in the first outfit I'd tried on and chucked on the floor ;) No surprises there!